Wednesday, October 18, 2006
enuff!

ok i finally had enough.

Alvin (me) is currently studying in National Junior College.

Or mayb it was supposed to be Anderson Junior College by Heaven's will but he purposely made it otherwise for THREE consecutive times.

Since then, Alvin was not happy.

HE is not going to care who reads his blog or something.

Firstly, he don't feel like part of the family of NJC.

The feeling wasn't as strong as what he experienced in Catholic High.

Ya from his mouth he says that he do not like Catholic High. But in fact he loves the school a lot. He has made a lot of best pals from the school itself, people like Wentao, Justin Kek, Charlie, Wilson Wee, Wilson Tay, Qiquan and many more.

Alvin went to Anderson Junior College yesterday to find Charlie with Justin and Wentao, and saw a lot of old pals (1st three months classmates). People like Jasline and Kangrui...

And when he reaches there, he saw Lan Guan's class which seems to be a lot livelier than NJC.

That is where his heart felt a tinge of sadness.

Should he stick to his assigned school that time when his so-called classmates asked him to appeal back to NJC?

But nothing can be changed now, and now he is very worried abt his promos.

But some people choose to pour cold water on him when he is at his lowest stage of his life.

He still vividly remember when he had a phobia of speaking to the public in primary school, and he had no choice but to speak for project work since its the A' Levels. And he was "suaned" by someone when it was a PW tutorial and he was kena arrowed to speak crap using a shooter gun when the incident of the phobia still runs in his mind. He does not like to stand in the front and speak, and furthermore it was "impromtu" (shit i dunoe how 2 spell that).

And someone just laughed and said 3 words: "Cannot make it".

What will a student like me think when i was "suaned" by someone i respect?

The promos results is making him worse today. He has been thinking too much.

Ya he knows it. But what can he do?

People just say: "Aiya...can one de lah..."

One person more worse (the same person who "suaned" me for PW")....he asked the depressed Alvin whether he liked NJ...then Alvin replied "ya....".....

And then the next thing he asked is : "Would you like to stay in NJ for one more year?"

That sentence makes the worried Alvin more depressed. And he decided to blog it today since a lot of things happened today.

The rehearsal for PW yesterday was atrocious. Alvin thought he had little content he decided to add a bit more without the slides' points. And in the end it backfired.

But he wasn't that doubly hit since one of his group members spoke more than him.

And that PLL person refused to delete the slides when the whole group knows that for that person confirm overrun liao.

During the OP workshop, it was only 3 minutes so the group thought it will be okay to speak like that time during OP workshop. But it really backfired.

And poor Alvin was said to be mumbling when he does not have the mood to speak.

Ya he knows that he cannot project his voice well. After looking at the sian diao Thomas yesterday making his speech, Alvin can feel that he was very worried about his H3.

But he can do nothing, since his own life is at stake.

And Alvin wasn't himself today. He suddenly said that he does not want to pon GP lecture although they are going through the answers and he knows nothing about it.

He made a big mistake when he stepped into the lecture hall. People were falling asleep within 35min.....he himself also fell asleep for 5min since he knows nothing about GP paper.

His pimple "exploded" and he decided to go to the toilet with his water bottle to refill water too.

After that he did not return to the LT.

He went around lagging till the lecture was over.

He sat on the wooden seats outside the I and E hub and stoned there for half an hour.

A lot of things ran through his mind.

And first time in his life he almost cried in school.

But he do not know who to turn to. And since its near to the staff room, its narutal that he will see teachers that he know.

And he ran away when he saw one. (not GP teacher)

It was living hell.

After everything it was CO time.

He loves CO (chinese orchestra ) until one fine day when he suddenly lost his "interest". Doing everything abt co juz makes him feel bored, except solos where he can improve his own skill.

He don't feel like part of a family in NJCO too.

Its just like a place where people come to practise for SYF and concerts only.

Only EXCOs and a very small number of normal members go to have dinner after CO.

Alvin's house always had packed food for dinner, so it would be natural for him to want to have dinner with friends after school hours.

It was so during CHSCO times....but it wasnt so now.

He himself do not know why he did not join them for dinners and stuff. Maybe he really did not felt that close with them.

Lastly, Alvin waits PATIENTLY (ya rite) for his promos results......

What will happen if his results are shown to be unsatisfactory and he may have to be retained?

LETS WAIT AND SEE.....

P.S: Actually i posted this post because i thought that nobody will see my blog....but just in case IF it is otherwise, please do not spread. Thanks.


BLOGS ARE USED TO LET PEOPLE VENT THEIR ANGER.